They googled the iPhone and look what came up!
They googled the iPhone and look what came up!
Unnameable industry experts warn the iPhone could be dubbed the WhyPhone soon. Because Google, the new Microsoft – without the shrink wrapped boxes – has produced a sexier little number. The gSpot (subs, please check this)
In fact, yesterday another unidentifiable industry expert said, “Insiders at Apple are terrified that the iPhone could be consigned to the landfill of history.”
Why could Apple’s titanic mobile phone hit the iceberg of public indifference? What has got Apple executives furiously re-arranging the deckchairs on their unsinkable launch?
The GooglePhone! As predicted in geek bible TheInquirer.net by Tony Dennis in 2007, web search giant Google has teamed with phone maker T-Mobile to produce its own handsets.
Could it be time to chuck away your old fuddy duddy iPhone? It won’t be that easy, warned Ann Insider, an expert. In an another exclusive, I can reveal that Apple may be charged with polluting the planet. “Unlike the Nokia house brick mobile phones,” said Insider, “today’s phones can’t be re-used to build homes. You could leave your iPhone out, with a tip for the dustman, and he still wouldn’t touch it,” she warned.
A Google spokesman refused to be drawn into a war of words on this, and would only say, “That’s an interesting theory. Can I find someone to help you?”
To celebrate the launch, Google shunned the usual boring old industry experts, and gave an exclusive to the world’s top selling red top tabloid.
And does the gPhone hit the g spot?
No. There are better gadgets available for that. But it does, as The Sun says, have “all the usual gubbins: A 3 megapixel camera, music player, WiFi and 3G internet browsing, touchscreen, GPS blah blah blah. It even makes phone calls apparently.”
But Helena Handcart wouldn’t be Fleet Street’s top columnist if she couldn’t find another exclusive angle.
Is the address book of the gPhone fatally flawed? Will users have to wade through 12 million results every time they type “John Smith” into the contacts section?
I put this question to a pair of eye-contact-avoiding Google geeks at the press launch. Geek One, whose name appeared to be Hugh Wannadealwithis, seemed evasive. But geek two, Hugh Theforkisthis, could tell I was onto something. “You’re serious aren’t you?” he pleaded, hiding his insecurity with an unconvincing guffaw.
My suspicions were confirmed as he hid behind heavy duty geek speak. “You can make phone calls, watch videos and surf the Internet,” said Theforkisthis.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t understand a word of that!
The Google iPhone (or possibly gPhone: subs please check this) will be this Xmas’s must have.
500 words invoice enclosed
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